New Policy in IT Companies


EFFECTIVE from April , 2011 NEW OFFICE POLICY Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

EFFECTIVE from April , 2010

NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to a company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.


Comments

Author: Prajakta25 Feb 2011 Member Level: Bronze   Points : 0

ha ha ha! very funny :)

Author: Lalitha28 Feb 2011 Member Level: Silver   Points : 1

Hi,

That was very helarious...cant stop laughing..
Keep up the good work.

Regards,
Lalitha

Author: Parth Kansara28 Feb 2011 Member Level: Silver   Points : 0

hii Zini,

very funny office policy.....
:D
:D
:D

Author: SethuRaman02 Mar 2011 Member Level: Gold   Points : 1

Hi Zini

Very nice thought about policy ,

where we need to be in situation think , all this are based on Hr decision .

Author: Sunita09 Mar 2011 Member Level: Bronze   Points : 0

Good joke yar.......... But cannot lough in office

Author: zpaya09 Mar 2011 Member Level: Gold   Points : 0

Thanks Sunita, got outside and Laugh like anything. LOL :D :)

Author: Donnie Hunniecutt09 Mar 2011 Member Level: Bronze   Points : 0

hah, sounds like my job.

Author: guru10 Mar 2011 Member Level: Bronze   Points : 0

Hai,

ha ha ha WELL TRY.....


With Regards
GURU

Author: Aamir Shahzad11 Mar 2011 Member Level: Gold   Points : 0

that s great nice

good joke

with Regards

Aamir khan

Author: morusu vijaya12 Jul 2011 Member Level: Gold   Points : 1

hi....

very nice I enjoyed a lot reading this one.
and add another line.

We will provide you laptop so that the employes can work on journey also. They must login when they wakeup at home and start doing work .

Regard's
vijaya

Author: preethi12 Jul 2011 Member Level: Gold   Points : 0

Hi,
Really Awesome.... I enjoyed very well....Keep on posting like this joke.. Fantastic

Author: SIVA RAMAMOORTHY07 Nov 2012 Member Level: Gold   Points : 0

very nice...

I enjoyed while reading this.. good

Author: chandbasha01 Mar 2013 Member Level: Silver   Points : 0

ha haaaaaa

Author: sonali04 Apr 2013 Member Level: Bronze   Points : 0

ha ha ha Good joke..

Author: sunil06 Jun 2013 Member Level: Bronze   Points : 0

nice....

Author: Gajanan13 Jul 2013 Member Level: Silver   Points : 0

Really nice....
I liked it..



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