EFFECTIVE from April , 2010
NEW OFFICE POLICY
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturdays & Sundays.
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to a company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
EFFECTIVE from April , 2010
ha ha ha! very funny :)
That was very helarious...cant stop laughing..
Keep up the good work.
very funny office policy.....
Very nice thought about policy ,
where we need to be in situation think , all this are based on Hr decision .
Good joke yar.......... But cannot lough in office
Thanks Sunita, got outside and Laugh like anything. LOL :D :)
hah, sounds like my job.
ha ha ha WELL TRY.....
that s great nice
very nice I enjoyed a lot reading this one.
and add another line.
We will provide you laptop so that the employes can work on journey also. They must login when they wakeup at home and start doing work .
Really Awesome.... I enjoyed very well....Keep on posting like this joke.. Fantastic
I enjoyed while reading this.. good
ha ha ha Good joke..
I liked it..