Computer Nerd Quiz E-mail
1. A friend opens a magazine full of nude women. Do you:
[A] Openly Ogle
[B] Act Non-Chalant
[C] Comment "Gee, that's got to be at least 400 dpi, color"
[D] Ask if he's got any computer magazines
2. You're at a party. A knock-out chick comes over and asks your sign. You:
[A] Tell her it's gotta be compatible w/hers because you feel the vibes
[B] Pretend you do hear and ask, "How 'bout that Dow Jones, huh ?"
[C] I don't go to parties
[D] I don't get invited to parties
3. You're at the head of a large queue in front of a cash-register. The register gives a ]beep[ and stops dead. You:
[A] Wait patiently
[B] Move all your stuff to the next register
[C] Leave the store in a huff
[D] Break out your notebook and try to debug the thing
4. You're waiting for your pills when the Druggist says the prescription database is corrupt. You:
[A] Ask him to deliver the meds on his way home
[B] Ask for a generic substitute or over-the-counter substitute
[C] Tell him you never liked the damn pills anyway
[D] Go on-line to NIH and download a more efficient db
5. A friend wants to borrow a CD from you. You:
[A] Lend it
[B] Tell him to go buy it
[C] Tell him, "neither a lender nor a borrower be"
[D] Consult your database to see the status of the CD concerned
6. You'd most like to meet:
[A] The Playmates of the Month for 1997
[B] The people who wrote all the "Star Trek" episodes
[C] Dave Letterman
[D] The people are writing Windows 2001
7. You win a prize at a local supermarket. You've got ten minutes to pack a cart with as much stuff as you can. You start:
[A] In the beer/liquor section
[B] In the meat case
[C] In the munchies section
[D] In the health foods section
8. You've been hit by a car and your life flashes before your eyes. The thing you remember most vividly is:
[A] Your first love-making
[B] All the "Star Trek" episodes
[C] What you watched on TV last night
[D] The ASCII table
9. You have to compete for a blind date. You have one statement influence her decision. You say:
[A] I can go all night
[B] I've got a new BMW
[C] I was probably busy anyway, I didn't check my date book
[D] I've got a new super 300 mhz with 64k memory
10. You feel naked without your:
[A] 44 magnum
[B] wallet
[C] pants
[D] laptop
11. You see someone standing on a ledge, about to jump. You say:
[A] I'll bet you're just trying to draw attention to yourself
[B] I feel you just need someone to talk to
[C] Do you have proper life insurance coverage
[D] Think of all the advancements in PCs in the next century
12. You told your best friend the first time you:
[A] had sex
[B] had a good dinner date
[C] had a good night's sleep
[D] successfully hacked into a secure site
13. No-one understands you like:
[A] your Parole Officer and/or bartender
[B] your family
[C] your physiatrist
[D] the help-desk people
14. For your 18th birthday you wanted:
[A] a new car and a blonde
[B] a new wardrobe
[C] an apartment
[D] your own computer room
Scoring:
Mostly A's: You're a fairly normal male who'll just fritter his way thru life enjoying yourself and having a fairly good time of it
Mostly B's: You're mostly normal, perhaps a little too practical. Probably destined for a house in the suburbs and 2.3 kids, if you're not there already
Mostly C's: Geek Alert! Break out the pocket protectors! You probably wear horn rim glasses and use an electronic datebook and have a laptop complete with cellphone
Mostly D's: Total Nerd. Just think -- while you wasted the time to take this inane quiz, 117 new Web pages came on line; better hurry and catch-up
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