The government is closing in on Bill Gates in the Microsoft antitrust trial. If Gates has to do time, he may get a taste of his own medicine when Big Louie in Cellblock 3 tries to forcibly install his "Inmate Explorer."
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing debate about who managed to get the most use out of his computer. This had been going on for days, and God finally had enough of it. So He set up a test: whoever could be the most productive after two hours on the computer would be the winner.
So down they sat at the keyboards and began typing. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent out e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They uploaded. They made cards. They did every known job and several unknowns.
But just a few minutes before the two hours were up, lightning flashed, thunder rolled, and the rains came down hard. Of course, the electricity went off.
Satan was furious. When the electricity came back on he screamed, "I lost it all when the power went off! What am I going to do?"
Jesus, however, just sat and smiled. He turned his computer back on. The screen glowed, and when he pushed "Print", all his files were still there, printing out.
"How did you do it?" Satan asked.
"Jesus saves."
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