When Bill Gates was in India, he had a chance 2 listen Ramayana from Vajpayee. After returning 2 US he wrote
it in his personal Diary which has been recently found (courtesy PTI). These are excerpts from his diary:
Ramayana by Bill Gates...
LAN, LAN ago, in the SYSTEM of I/O-dhya, there ruled a PROCESSOR named DOS-rat.
Once he EXECUTED a great sacrifice PROGRAM after which his queens gave an OUTPUT of four SUNs - RAM, LSIman, BUG-rat
and SED-rughana.
RAM the eldest was a MICROCHIP with excellent MEMORY. His brothers, however, were only PERIPHERAL ICs.
Once when RAM was only 16MB, he married princess C ta.
12 years passed and DOS-rat decided to INSTALL RAM as his successor.
However, Queen CIE/CAE(Kayegayee), who was once offered a boon by DOS-rat for a lifesaving HELP COMMAND,
took this opportunity at the instigation of her BIOSed maid and insisted that her son Bug-rat be INSTALLED and that RAM be CUT-N-PASTED to the forest for 14 years. At this cruel and unexpected demand,
a SURGE passed through DOS-rat and he CRASHED like unstable version of AI MSN does in intel.
RAM agreed to LOG INTO forest and C ta insisted to LOGIN with him. LSI-man also resolved on LOGGING IN with his brother.
The forest was the dwelling of SPARCnakha, the TRAN-SISTOR of RAW-van, PROCESSOR of LAN-ka. Attracted by RAM, she proposed that he should marry her. RAM, politely declined, perceiving C ta to be his SOURCE CODE.
She hastened to kill her but LSI-man cut her inportant PERIPHERALS. Weeping, SPARC-nakha fled to LAN-ka, where RAW-van, moved by TRAN-SIS TOR s plight,
approached his uncle MAR-icha. MAR-icha REPROGRAMED himself to form a golden stag and drew RAM deep into the forest. Finally, RAM shot the deer, which, with his last breath, cried out for LSI-man in voice of RAM s SOUND CARD. Fooled by this VIRTUAL RAM SOUND, C ta urged LSI-man to his brother s aid.
Catching the opportunity, RAW-van DELINKED C ta from her LIBRARY and changed her ROOT DIRECTORY to LAN-ka.
------------------INTERVAL----------------
RAM and LSI-man started SEARCHING for the missing C ta all over the forest. They made friendship with
the forest SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR Akshat sorry... SU-greev and his powerful co-processor Ha-NEUMAN.
who agreed to help RAM. SU-greev ordered his PROGRAMMERS to use powerful SEARCH techniques learnt in CS130 to FIND the missing C ta.
His PROGRAMMERS SEARCHED allaround the INTER-NETworked forests. Many tried to EXCITE the birds and animals not to forget the WEBCRAWLERS (Insects) and tried to INFOSEEK something about C ta.
Some of them even shouted YAA-HOO but they all ended up with NO FOUND MESSAGES Google, Lycos nothing was left untouched.
The only thing they forgot was to mail iitcse01 & get PTI s help. Ha-NEUMAN then devised a RISCy TECHNOLOGY and used it to cross the seas at an astonishing CLOCK SPEED.
Soon Ha-NEUMAN DOWNLOADED himself into LAN-ka. Ha-NEUMAN
found C ta under a brown - green (as Brahma will call it) TREE STRUCTURE Ha-NEUMAN used the LOGIN ID (ring) to identify himself to C ta.
After DECRYPTING THE KEY, C ta asked him to send STATUS_OK MESSAGE to RAM.
Meanwhile all raakshasa BUGS around C ta captured Ha-NEUMAN to DELETE him using everything including Ctrl-Alt-Del.
But Ha-NEUMAN spread chaos by spreading VIRUS Fire . Ha-NEUMAN pressed ESCAPE from LAN-kaand & conveyed all the STATUS MESSAGES to RAM and SU-greev. RAW-wan decided to take RAM head-on. One of the RAW-wan s SUN almost DELETED LSI-man with a Brahma -astra.
But Ha-NEUMAN resorted to some ACTIVE-Xgradients and REFORMATTED LSI-man. RAM used the SOURCE CODE secrets of RAW-wan and wiped out RAW-wan s presence on earth.
Later, RAM got INSTALLED in I/O-dhya and spreaded his USER FRIENDLY PROGRAMS to all USERS and everyone lived happily ever after, playing & enjoying AOE.
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